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I sat on a folding chair against a wall, delighted to be but a spectator to the ritual of Tantra Speed Date. After all, the whole point of tantra is connection and not necessarily, as the musical artist Sting so famously revealed, eight-hour love-making sessions. I politely declined. Instead, I gratefully watched a collection of open-minded Bay Areans participate in numerous three-minute activities designed to spark connection. It was gripping — and only occasionally awkward. Women are given neck pouches filled with lettered beads, each letter assigned to a female participant.
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I fronted up to my first online date with a healthy mix of hope and realism, aware that are known for being casual, chic and informal, according to user reviews.
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In fact, I had just met this man. And we were in a brightly lit yoga studio in the Lower Haight with a dream catcher on the wall and a statue of Buddha in the corner. Roughly 40 other singles were paired off around us, all engaged in the exact same awkward declaration — yes, strangers had been instructed to pledge their unconditional devotion to each other.
Despite its name, these are clothing-on, nonsexual events. This was an evening I had signed up for as a revolt of sorts, to combat the monotony of internet dating. I had no desire to go on yet another repetitive walk down Valencia, coffee in hand, with the latest man I had swiped right on. Plus, I considered it efficient—the speed-dating style essentially let me knock out 20 dates in one night.
At worst, I would have a story to laugh about. At best, the whole thing might work. It was a Thursday evening, and all of us were seated on the floor, nervously looking at each other. A couple of people had on yoga clothing, but most were slightly more dressed up, the men in button-downs and the women in flowy skirts. The big ta-da moment?
He had two people touch each end and then hold hands—the blue and red lights danced.
Why Dating in San Francisco is The Worst
From crappy dating apps to constant flaking, is finding love in the 7×7 even possible anymore? Dating in San Francisco sucks. There. I said it.
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